Cities – The Haiarts' Adventure

Las Vegas, NV

We had 4 nights in Las Vegas with Mat. We found a “resort” style hotel on Groupon a few km from the strip.

Vegas, wow. Everything about Vegas is a show. Our first dinner out was at a casino called The Orleans had an exterior facade made up to look like the wrought iron balconies of NOLA. We had one of the best meals of the trip at their Japanese/Chinese restaurant. That night Mat and I went out to the strip to take it all in.

“We’re close let’s walk”. What an ordeal! Especially given the hotel had a free shuttle! We set off and took 20 minutes to get to The Orleans. Then another 20 minutes to get a to a freeway which Mat was convinced we couldn’t dart across (he was right). Thank God we had some road rockets to keep us hydrated. I finally tried a White Claw. It was revolting. It tastes like the Jolly Rancher you’d offer your younger sibling. We finally made it to the MGM! We blew a bit of money and headed home.

The next morning we received our SECOND noise complaint! The first one was around 7pm because I was wrestling with Moose, sort of fair but still well before the hotel’s ‘quiet hours’. The second one was at 9am because Ollie was falling on his bottom. Security knocked on our door and asked if I could make the kids be quiet. I said ‘No’. Tough shit. I went down to the reception and asked to be moved to the ground floor. It was a massive hassle but in the end worth it to protect the precious ears of people who came to Vegas for peace and quiet!

Later we drove to the Hoover Dam. Truely an engineering masterpiece. We drove over the damn and did the power plant tour. They don’t allow kids on the dam tour unfortunately. We spent close to 3 hours on the tour and walking around. If you’re ever in the area I’d highly recommend going.

That night Mat and I took the shuttle into town and had a much better experience. We saw the volcano at the Mirage, the fountain show at the Bellagio and lost a bit more money playing roulette and blackjack. Turns out none of my lucky numbers came through!

The third day we all drove down to the strip and walked around. Parking at Treasure Island was free. We saw the pirate ships outside Treasure Island. We went to Cesar’s Palace and saw the fountains and the Fall of Atlantis animatronic show, completed with fire shooting swords. We walked all the way down the MGM New York New York casino. Inside their food court was made out like the Big Apple, plus a roller coaster. Again, everything was just over the top and incredibly entertaining. Moose even snagged a photo with the show girls.

The 3rd night Mat treated the three of us to One, the Cirque de Soleil Michael Jackson show. First we hit up some casinos and lost a bit more money. Hanika gambled big on EVEN/BLACK and won! Even this couldn’t entice to play more hands. We had a quick dinner at Guy Fieri’s restaurant then off to the show. It was my first Cirque show and I was blown away. Much fewer contortionists that I had expected but an amazing array of dancing, arial stunts and light shows. Given all the accusations about MJ I was actually surprised a company that big could produce a show based on his life/music. Still, it was an incredible show! That night Mat and I both got sick, we presumed from a Flavour Town burger. It’s only thing we both ate that Hanika didn’t.

The likely offending burger. Would I eat it again? Probably.

The last day we went in search of the elusive “old” strip. Turns out it was nowhere near where we were staying! It was easily enough to get to and we scored free parking again. It certainly felt different from the famous strip. Lots of neon lights, a lot more out door performers/buskers, cheaper tables and cheaper hotels. We didn’t stop to gamble here.

That night Mat and I headed back to the Orleans to try our hand. After being down $100 each I had enough drinks to decided taking out another $400 was a good idea. And it was! We played blackjack at what became a very lively table. I’m not quick on the maths so I was doubling my bets on 14! Worked out well. So did doubling down on 13! In the end we left being up a couple of hundred each for the night, so only down a couple of hundred for the weekend. I’ve spent more had less fun in other cities.

Mat suckered me into a 530am airport run and the rest of us drove to Wofford Heights on the way to Sequoia National Park.

Williams, AZ (Grand Canyon NP)

We had 3 nights in Williams as our “Gateway to the Grand Canyon”, as the sign says on entering the town.

The first day in Williams was a write off. There was a fresh foot of snow. Despite the plows already in full force the roads look treacherous. Dad and I headed out to see how bad they were in the 2WD van, complete with all season tires. It took 50m to stop doing 30kph… not idea for highway driving. A sage lady at the hotel said “I’ll go another day, the Canyon will be there tomorrow”. Wise words from a woman whose advanced age precluded me from being able to say the same about her. Instead we drove around town looking for appropriate snow gear. Luckily we found some boots for the boys and some Wellington boots for Hanika.

We bundled everyone up as best we could and headed for the shops on foot. In addition to the boots we bought a sled to pull the boys around in. I had visions of a leisurely stroll through fresh snow… wrong. Within a block both boys were tossed off by the narrowly shovelled sidewalks! We made it another block before we found a cafe. On the way back the wind picked up and was blowing ice crystals around. Poor Moose was being battered. Defeated, we headed back to the room to play Monopoly.

It was Thanksgiving that day so we went out for dinner at the local Mexican restaurant. They happened to be serving a ham and turkey dinner. We got both boy a plate off the kids menu. At less than half the price of the adult dish we figured it would fill them nicely. I won’t lie, it was the size of the adult meal! Lucky for us we had some Tupperware in the car so we ended up with tomorrow’s lunch at a fraction of the cost!

Over the day and second night a few more inches of snow fell. The road conditions were reported as good. I must admit, for what I consider a pretty remote part of America the plows were great. The roads were in excellent condition apart from scattered slush. The slowest part of the drive as getting INTO the park! I missed the turn off for prepaid vehicles so we were stuck in the slow moving line.

We unpacked everyone from the van and onto the sled and started walking around the South Rim. I’m not sure what it looks like in summer but the Grand Canyon is beautiful in winter. The size of the canyon can’t be overstated. I’ve never seen anything like it. We managed a bit of a walk with the sled before the boys got too cold and we had to turn back. Everyone looked jealous of our setup, especially the poor parents trying to push strollers and wagons through snow! One downside was that snow was piling into the sled and the boys only had sweatpants on.

We had one last dinner at a classic Route 66 diner before setting off the next day for Kanab, UT.

Phoenix, AZ

We had one night in Phoenix to pick up my dad. Simple, right? We got some good deals on Groupon for a hotel near the airport.

We did a big drive from Joshua Tree and finally made it to Phoenix in the afternoon. We checked in and… no Pappy. Odd since his flight was due 2 hours ago.

I checked the flights, all on time. No message from him that he had any problems making his connection. Must be the long line up at the rental car office due to Thanksgiving. I tried calling just to check, no answer. He must be signing the documents as we speak. We checked into our room and waiting.

An hour later, 3 hours after his arrival, a call from Dad. Where was the hotel? Someone had sent him on a wild goose chase looking for an exit on the interstate that didn’t exist. He made it to south and west Phoenix but not to the hotel. A few simple instructions on how to get from 25th to 75th street sorted everything out. If only the GPS he brought from Canada wasn’t filled with European maps from our Italy trip 5 years ago. And if only he splurged on a data package and could use Google Maps. Alas.

We went out for a lovely dinner at a trendy restaurant. It advertised an “anti inflammatory” menu. Regardless, the food was delicious and I think I countered the health kicks with the few beers I drank.

Hanika noticed a weather alert on her phone which said a massive storm was coming and would close down the interstate up to the Grand Canyon (our intended destination)! We’ve not been great at keeping up with the world. We don’t listen to the local radio stations because we have Spotify and we don’t watch TV because we’re masochists.

The more we looked, the more nervous I became. They were calling for 2 feet of snow in the Grand Canyon. What to do? We could stay in Phoenix where it would rain, forgo a night or two in Williams and relax. Or we could haul up the next morning and hold up in Williams (think The Shining). The hotel owner assured me they wouldn’t lose power. A quick google showed that the town had a few basic ammenities and that we were unlikely to starve. One slight issue was our lack of snow gear. The kids had jackets, but no gloves, boots or snow pants!

We waited until the next morning to make our decision. The forecast called for snow only in the afternoon so Hanika made the executive decision to push on. We stopped via Walmart but couldn’t find anything for the kids! The drive up was fine apart from a bit of sleet past 4000ft of elevation. We effortlessly checked into our hotel as the snow fell.

LA/Venice Beach, CA

We had varying expectations for LA after accounts from others of it being little more than a big dirty city. I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised. We stayed in Venice Beach, and while the apartment we were in was larger only than our hotel room in New York, but at twice the price per square foot, the location was spot on. We were one block from the beach and spent a day walking along the Venice Boardwalk in the sunshine, past all the touristy shops and stalls, beachside skate parks, beach volleyball courts and outdoor gyms. I headed one way down the boardwalk and walked all the way to Santa Monica pier, while Seb and the boys walked the other way and were entertained by a silent disco on the beach.

Another highlight was walking through the Venice Canals, just a few blocks from our AirBnb. The houses there were very impressive, and although the canals themselves don’t go anywhere, it certainly felt like a sanctuary from the surrounding hustle and bustle. We also managed to find a lovely cafe a couple of blocks away that did great coffee….owned by Australians of course.

For our other day we headed into Hollywood, walked along the walk of fame and snapped some photos of the Hollywood sign. (An overall terrible experience with streets lined with crap souvenir shops -Seb)

Next, we headed east towards Joshua Tree National Park.

Santa Barbara, CA

Santa Barbara was another nice little stop off on the way down to LA. The main highlight here was the MOXI Children’s Museum – another museum we got free entry into courtesy of the reciprocal membership from the Montreal Science Museum. I have to say it is an absolutely wonderful museum and Moose had a ball. There are lots of interactive exhibits based around sounds, light and physical movement. Moose’s favourite part was building and re-building a car and sending it down a race track to see how he could make it go as fast as possible. We finished off on the rooftop looking through infrared binoculars at the traffic and train going past below, and even managed to catch the sunset.

Next stop: LA.

San Francisco, CA

After spending the last two months in the eastern United States, we repacked all our bags, dug out our winter gear, bid farewell to the Chrysler van and set off on a plane (or rather, two) for California. First stop on the west coast was San Francisco and after landing in the evening, we picked up our new Dodge minivan (the cheaper-in-every-way version of the sweet ride we’d had on the east coast) and headed off to our AirBnb and bundled ourselves into bed.

The following day we took the train to the Embarcadero area. We stopped to grab a coffee – Seb was very excited to buy his coffee from a street stall that had a robot that made your coffee. Turns out a coffee machine makes your coffee then a robot arm picks up the cup and hands it to you. Quite entertaining to watch but unfortunately tasted like garbage. Nevertheless we continued to wander around downtown and walked along the waterfront, past the piers to Fisherman’s Wharf. The Wharf was very touristy but entertaining for the kids and we found a carousel for Moose to ride and then went to see the sea lions at pier 39.

The next day we went to Golden Gate Park – we came across an amateur game of baseball then found a playground for the kids to wear themselves out on. On the way home we visited the Golden Gate Bridge for a few photos.

Monday was time to leave and start driving down the coast towards LA, but not before we forgot one of our bags at the AirBnb and had to turn back to retrieve it. Second time lucky and we were back on the road. We took the coastal highway and enjoyed the stunning views through Big Sur and of the pacific on our drive down to San Simeon – the coast and the landscape reminded us a lot of the South Australian coast.

Key Largo, FL

We spent 3 nights in Key Largo, Key West just seemed to far to drive back up to Orlando for.

We stayed at a “resort” and really splurged. I can’t remember how much it was but it was certainly more than the $80 a night we spent in NYC! It was worth it.

Turns out the Keys are protected from having sandy beaches by the barrier reefs, thank God! Our hotel had 2 private docks, a pool, games and a small “beach” with kayaks and paddle boards.

We spent the days relaxing, swimming in the pool and playing giant Jenga. Moose and I went on a kayak and managed to spot a manatee. I tried my hand at the SUP but failed miserably. Either I was paddling myself in circles or I was acting a sail and being blown out to sea. I gave up and paddled back to the dock on my knees. Utter failure!

There was a great bar colocated where we had drinks and dinner. For $100 AUD we got 2 crab cakes and 3 cocktails! Gotta live a bit, right? The cocktails were strong enough that we ended up back there 3 hours later for dinner!

We planned ahead and got a glass bottom boat cruise on Groupon. I suppose we’re both a bit spoilt. I’ve been diving on the Great Barrier Reef and Hanika’s been around the Whitsundays a few times. This was a 45 minute boat ride out to a lacklustre reef for 30 minutes then 45 minutes back to land. In all honesty the sharks at the marina were more interesting! Hanika was treated to sea turtles and dolphins while I took care of Moose sleeping away his sea sickness.

One night Ollie decided he didn’t feel like sleep. The warm weather and safeness meant we could do a midnight walk. We hit the highway and walked a mile to a Waffle House for a 3am snack! The joys of fatherhood.

Despite the small beach we ended up with sand all through our room. Apart from that it was perfect. The weather was great, hot but not too humid, clear skies and a lovely ocean breeze. It certainly felt like we were chasing summer down the East coast. So far Key Largo had be the unexpected highlight of trip, certainly much better than Miami. More authentic, more relaxed, more Darwin.

Next we set off to Orlando to start HaJo 2019 @ Disney!

Miami Beach, FL

We spent 4 nights in Miami Beach. I learnt a lot there.

I hate sand. Truely. It gets everywhere. As a hairy guy it’s impossible to wash out in the shower without a pressure washer. But Miami Beach offered more than sand.

We stayed in the heart of the Art Deco area filled with bars and hotels that clearly had played host to some epic parties. We were a short childless walk from the beach, or a 30 minute free bus ride.

The first day we took the beaches with our new beach shade in tow. We payed 20$ for some shade in Pensacola and damned if I’ll get ripped off again. Hanika found an excellent pop up shade tent. Looking like travelling hobos we arrived to the beach, a family of fair skinned immigrants with our shade tent (which folded to a 3 foot circle), pram, 2 backpacks and a sweet polyester mat. Ludicrous. We did a have a great day at the beach though. The waves were a bit of a turn off for Moose but both kids were happy to play in the tidal pools. We got take away Cuban sandwiches from one of the aforementioned hotels and ate them on the grass. The day came to a close and it was time to pack up. Well, did that bloody tent fold back up again? The closest I got was 6 feet across and filing for divorce. Hanika was equally successful minus the divorce part. In the end I broke it and put it next to a bin… Not my proudest moment. Lesson 2, pay the beach shack rates and keep your sanity.

The second day we made our way to Little Havana for a bit of culture. For those who don’t know its a suburb filled with Cuban expats fleeing the Castro regime. It’s filled with Cuban cafes, restaurants and history. And chickens. We strolled up and down, watched old men play dominos, drank Margaritas and ate Cuban sandwiches. That afternoon our (my) museum passport pulled through again with an amazing science centre. This one was part aquarium part kids playground.

We also walked down the Lincoln Road Mall. It’s mall in the Australian sense. It’s a pedestrian only road flanked by shops, ranging from high end boutiques to generic tourist traps. I did manage to snag a wicked pair of “Miami” boardies.

We had a day of garbage weather so found an in door playground for the kids to play in . Dear lord. It was a weekend with multiple birthdays going on. I can barely handle 2 kids let alone 200! Never mind, the kids had a great time and wore themselves out.

Now on to the logistics. Do not, under any circumstances, bring a car to Miami Beach. There is NO parking. And by no parking I mean street parking is for a maximum of 9 hours, private lots are $40 for 24 hours. The on street parking has a website to register your car and pay with a credit card (no machine available). I went to the website… interesting it’s in German. No worries, there’s a Union Jack so I’ll click on that. I put in all my information, load up by credit card but can’t find the location. No worries. I’ll call them up and figure it out. “Oh yeah, we printed all the signs wrong. That’s some European company that we don’t deal with. The actual site is …”. Are you shitting me? You fucked up printing street signs for an entire city but figured in for a penny in for a pound? Which asshat bureaucrat signed off on this farce? After going through the registration process again I was lucky enough to pay $20 for 7 hours of parking. That night I drove the car to a public lot 2km away and paid another $20 for the honour.

But it’s worth it, right? We went to Miami proper for the indoor playground. Paid parking, no sweat I’ve got it set up. Nope. Different city council, different pay system. I had to repeat the whole system again! At least their signs were printed correctly. What makes things extra frustrating is that America seems to use your credit card billing zip code as a security feature. Prepay for gas at the pump? Put in your zip. Easy, except of course my billing address is in Canada! That means calling the Miami people and setting up the account. And every time I want gas I have to in an prepay. Can’t prepay at the pump, wrong zip code. Can’t be trusted to pump then pay because ‘Murica. Lesson 3, somehow get an American credit card.

We survived, barely and drove to Key Largo for a sandless ocean experience.

St Petersburg, FL

We spent 2 nights in St Pete’s. It was a bit of drive from Tallahassee and the Air BnB had a 5pm check in time. With time to kill we stopped at Crystal Rivers.

It’s a spring fed river with clear water and white sand. It’s famous for its manatees, or so we were told as we saw zero. When the gulf temperature drops the sea cows (nature’s speed bumps) swim up the river the bask in the warmth of the springs. Despite their rotund figure they don’t have much body fat. Despite the lack of manatees it really was a beautiful place. Unfortunately you can’t enter the water from the park to preserve the banks. We had to settle for watching others have fun.

Next stop was Walmart to get some costumes for the boys. Turns out if you leave buying a costume for 3pm the night of Halloween there’s not much left! Thank goodness we found a Buzz Lightyear suit for Moose, just ever so slightly too big with a Woodie treat basket. Ollie had to settle for a Batman onesie.

We’ve stayed in some ghetto places before and St Pete’s proved to be more of the same. We arrived just after 5 and couldn’t see ANY kids walking the streets. I put them in the car do some candy tourism. I figured there’s an elementary school near by therefore kids, therefore candy. Nope. As a last ditch effort I googled the nearest Trader Joe’s and hit up that neighbourhood. Jackpot! Seemed everyone had the same idea too. Vans were pulling over and letting kids and parents up. I felt much less guilty!

This street was amazing. Families, young couples, retirees all put in phenomenal efforts on their decorations.

We put a bucket of chocolates outside our place in case anyone came by. When we got home none of the treats were taken! I reckon I bought 300 chocolates. We dumped them in Miami. Our neighbours seemed to be partaking in the “Devil’s Lettuce” so we hooked a bag of candies to their door knob. It must have been good product because they were too paranoid to take it and it was still there the next morning!

The next day was an epic drive to Miami Beach.

Tallahassee, FL

We spent 3 nights in Tallahassee, again to break up the driving.

Tallahassee is the state capital of Florida. It’s not a big city by an stretch and we didn’t have much trouble getting around. Saying that, we didn’t do much and enjoyed a few days of low key tourism.

The highlight was the Tallahassee museum, which is more like a zoo. They had an elevated boardwalk through the enclosures of red wolves, deer, bears and panthers. My favourite animals were the tree climbing foxes.

Otherwise we really didn’t do much. It rained which forced our hands to finally buy umbrellas. They got minimal use.

We headed off to St Petersburg for Halloween.