Orlando, FL (Disney)

Warning, this is long!

No trip to the US is complete without visiting Disney! We spent 5 nights in Orlando to finish the East Coast leg of the trip.

We had a long drive from Key Largo to Orlando. We checked into our AirBnB and awaited the arrival of Eric and Jenn and their two kids.

The first full day together we had pancakes for breakfast then lounged around the pool. The unit was part of a gated holiday community. It had a community centre with an arcade, movie theatre, pool and hot tub. The kids had a blast running around the pool. That afternoon Eric decided to indulge in the local culture and hit up the gun range complete with free popcorn.

Neither of us are gunsmiths my any stretch. We rocked up wearing thongs (flip flops) completely lost. “So how does it this work?”. Turns out you pay money and then pick a gun from a shelf, buy ammo and shoot! Quite simple. Except you get more instructions getting onto a ride in Disney! They literally pointed to the trigger and said pull this down range. Multiple times we had to ask for help and were met with a disappointing sigh. In their defence, we forgot/didn’t know how to turn off the safety. We shot a 9mm Glock, a semi automatic rifle and shotgun, a full automatic rifle and a 6 shooter. We also got some sweet booties.

The next day was Disney World. This was mine and Hanika’s first time. Thank goodness we had Jenn and Eric to lead the way with their combined 15 visits!

Everything was planned out. We knew which rides we’d hit up first, how we’d effectively use our Fast Passes. Flawless.

We changed accommodation and dropped our bags at the Animal Kingdom Resort and hopped on the shuttle to the Magic Kingdom park. We arrived 45 mins later than anticipated and that’s when the wheels fell off! Already the wait for rides was over an hour. Thank God we had Jenn to navigate the park and make the most of our time.

We had a jam packed day. We managed to catch a mid day parade, do some rides and watch some shows. Moose wasn’t a huge fan of any ride that was remotely fast/scary but he was happy enough to sit out. One of the highlights for me was the shows. They’re only about 20 minutes long, in a large theatre, minimum line ups, air conditioned and filled with comfy seats! They offered a reprieve from the heat and screaming kids.

In the middle of the day we got our hotel rooms texted to us. We were miles apart! We thought that mattered (it didn’t), so Eric called up and asked if they could change us. Thank God he did, they ended up right next door with a room upgrade! Disney really does do anything they can to make your stay happy. Ask, they’ll do it.

Unfortunately Disney closed the Magic Kingdom at 6pm on our day. They were hosting a Christmas Party which mean we got kicked out unless we spent another $100 EACH. Not even a restaurant reservation would keep us in the park. We headed to the Rainforest Cafe for an immersive meal compete with fish tanks and animatronic gorillas.

https://youtu.be/zGdcSZoOT7s

The next morning we woke to the sight of giraffes and zebras from our balcony. I enthusiastically woke up Moose who begged me to let him sleep! Since when is a 4 year old a teenager?? So much for investment in a safari view room.

We ate a delicious buffet, no alcohol for $100 USD for 3 people! All those websites that say Disney has reasonably priced food must be eating stadium hotdogs. Jesus. Saying that, it was delicious apart from the subpar filtered coffee.

Our second Disney day was spent at Hollywood Studios. Again, a delayed start due to the Haiarts’ meant missing our first preferences. The park is divided into two major areas; Toy Story and Star Wars. The Toy Story world is filled with rides and regular character appearances. We didn’t make it onto the Slinky Dog roller coaster because the line had ballooned to >75 mins by the time we entered the park! We say the Indian Jones special effects who which was incredible. Another chance to sit down but this time with explosions! We also managed a Frozen show, a Cars show and Eric, Jenn and I rode the Rockin’ Roller coaster. It launches you 0-90kpm in 2.8 seconds! The whole thing is somehow inside, dark and ludicrous. Do it.

I dragged everyone to Star Wars Galaxy Edge after. As a huge fan it was mind blowing. A totally immersive experience despite the fact it’s not complete. People were being randomly arrested by circulating Storm Troopers. Unfortunately we had the WORST food of the entire trip there. I misread “Turkey Jerky” as jerked turkey. We spent 2 months in Jamaica and loved jerked chicken. Sure, I thought, a new bird but same great taste right? False. It was literally jerky (dried, seasoned) turkey skin. It looked like a withered ball sac. It tasted no better. Still, the $15 extragalactical cocktail made up for it. But seriously, the whole thing was amazing. The attention to detail was “out of this world”. I was like a kid in a candy store. I even considered buying Star Wars Christmas ornaments. The grand finale of the night was riding the “Smuggler’s Run” ride in the Millennium Falcon. I’d read review on how the ride worked but they left a lot of details out to keen an element of surprise. I’ll do the same… It was great fun with any of the “roles” being interactive and undoubtably fun. Worth Eric and Jenn doing the line up so we could to the parent swap.

We retired back to the resort and the kids did a bit of animal viewing. They set up night vision goggles and with them Moose swore he could all of them. There was one cow..

The next day we enjoyed another overpriced buffet and the Johannson’s left us. We checked out and into another timeshare type community, much smaller and without any sort of country club feel. We were treated to a visit by the Thurling’s who are also doing a North American tour with their young children. We had a lazy day by the pool and a few bevies. It was great to catch up with people who understood the trials and tribulations of travelling with family. They went off to Mexico and we flew off to San Francisco.

Key Largo, FL

We spent 3 nights in Key Largo, Key West just seemed to far to drive back up to Orlando for.

We stayed at a “resort” and really splurged. I can’t remember how much it was but it was certainly more than the $80 a night we spent in NYC! It was worth it.

Turns out the Keys are protected from having sandy beaches by the barrier reefs, thank God! Our hotel had 2 private docks, a pool, games and a small “beach” with kayaks and paddle boards.

We spent the days relaxing, swimming in the pool and playing giant Jenga. Moose and I went on a kayak and managed to spot a manatee. I tried my hand at the SUP but failed miserably. Either I was paddling myself in circles or I was acting a sail and being blown out to sea. I gave up and paddled back to the dock on my knees. Utter failure!

There was a great bar colocated where we had drinks and dinner. For $100 AUD we got 2 crab cakes and 3 cocktails! Gotta live a bit, right? The cocktails were strong enough that we ended up back there 3 hours later for dinner!

We planned ahead and got a glass bottom boat cruise on Groupon. I suppose we’re both a bit spoilt. I’ve been diving on the Great Barrier Reef and Hanika’s been around the Whitsundays a few times. This was a 45 minute boat ride out to a lacklustre reef for 30 minutes then 45 minutes back to land. In all honesty the sharks at the marina were more interesting! Hanika was treated to sea turtles and dolphins while I took care of Moose sleeping away his sea sickness.

One night Ollie decided he didn’t feel like sleep. The warm weather and safeness meant we could do a midnight walk. We hit the highway and walked a mile to a Waffle House for a 3am snack! The joys of fatherhood.

Despite the small beach we ended up with sand all through our room. Apart from that it was perfect. The weather was great, hot but not too humid, clear skies and a lovely ocean breeze. It certainly felt like we were chasing summer down the East coast. So far Key Largo had be the unexpected highlight of trip, certainly much better than Miami. More authentic, more relaxed, more Darwin.

Next we set off to Orlando to start HaJo 2019 @ Disney!

Miami Beach, FL

We spent 4 nights in Miami Beach. I learnt a lot there.

I hate sand. Truely. It gets everywhere. As a hairy guy it’s impossible to wash out in the shower without a pressure washer. But Miami Beach offered more than sand.

We stayed in the heart of the Art Deco area filled with bars and hotels that clearly had played host to some epic parties. We were a short childless walk from the beach, or a 30 minute free bus ride.

The first day we took the beaches with our new beach shade in tow. We payed 20$ for some shade in Pensacola and damned if I’ll get ripped off again. Hanika found an excellent pop up shade tent. Looking like travelling hobos we arrived to the beach, a family of fair skinned immigrants with our shade tent (which folded to a 3 foot circle), pram, 2 backpacks and a sweet polyester mat. Ludicrous. We did a have a great day at the beach though. The waves were a bit of a turn off for Moose but both kids were happy to play in the tidal pools. We got take away Cuban sandwiches from one of the aforementioned hotels and ate them on the grass. The day came to a close and it was time to pack up. Well, did that bloody tent fold back up again? The closest I got was 6 feet across and filing for divorce. Hanika was equally successful minus the divorce part. In the end I broke it and put it next to a bin… Not my proudest moment. Lesson 2, pay the beach shack rates and keep your sanity.

The second day we made our way to Little Havana for a bit of culture. For those who don’t know its a suburb filled with Cuban expats fleeing the Castro regime. It’s filled with Cuban cafes, restaurants and history. And chickens. We strolled up and down, watched old men play dominos, drank Margaritas and ate Cuban sandwiches. That afternoon our (my) museum passport pulled through again with an amazing science centre. This one was part aquarium part kids playground.


We also walked down the Lincoln Road Mall. It’s mall in the Australian sense. It’s a pedestrian only road flanked by shops, ranging from high end boutiques to generic tourist traps. I did manage to snag a wicked pair of “Miami” boardies.

We had a day of garbage weather so found an in door playground for the kids to play in . Dear lord. It was a weekend with multiple birthdays going on. I can barely handle 2 kids let alone 200! Never mind, the kids had a great time and wore themselves out.

Now on to the logistics. Do not, under any circumstances, bring a car to Miami Beach. There is NO parking. And by no parking I mean street parking is for a maximum of 9 hours, private lots are $40 for 24 hours. The on street parking has a website to register your car and pay with a credit card (no machine available). I went to the website… interesting it’s in German. No worries, there’s a Union Jack so I’ll click on that. I put in all my information, load up by credit card but can’t find the location. No worries. I’ll call them up and figure it out. “Oh yeah, we printed all the signs wrong. That’s some European company that we don’t deal with. The actual site is …”. Are you shitting me? You fucked up printing street signs for an entire city but figured in for a penny in for a pound? Which asshat bureaucrat signed off on this farce? After going through the registration process again I was lucky enough to pay $20 for 7 hours of parking. That night I drove the car to a public lot 2km away and paid another $20 for the honour.

But it’s worth it, right? We went to Miami proper for the indoor playground. Paid parking, no sweat I’ve got it set up. Nope. Different city council, different pay system. I had to repeat the whole system again! At least their signs were printed correctly. What makes things extra frustrating is that America seems to use your credit card billing zip code as a security feature. Prepay for gas at the pump? Put in your zip. Easy, except of course my billing address is in Canada! That means calling the Miami people and setting up the account. And every time I want gas I have to in an prepay. Can’t prepay at the pump, wrong zip code. Can’t be trusted to pump then pay because ‘Murica. Lesson 3, somehow get an American credit card.

We survived, barely and drove to Key Largo for a sandless ocean experience.

St Petersburg, FL

We spent 2 nights in St Pete’s. It was a bit of drive from Tallahassee and the Air BnB had a 5pm check in time. With time to kill we stopped at Crystal Rivers.

It’s a spring fed river with clear water and white sand. It’s famous for its manatees, or so we were told as we saw zero. When the gulf temperature drops the sea cows (nature’s speed bumps) swim up the river the bask in the warmth of the springs. Despite their rotund figure they don’t have much body fat. Despite the lack of manatees it really was a beautiful place. Unfortunately you can’t enter the water from the park to preserve the banks. We had to settle for watching others have fun.

Next stop was Walmart to get some costumes for the boys. Turns out if you leave buying a costume for 3pm the night of Halloween there’s not much left! Thank goodness we found a Buzz Lightyear suit for Moose, just ever so slightly too big with a Woodie treat basket. Ollie had to settle for a Batman onesie.

We’ve stayed in some ghetto places before and St Pete’s proved to be more of the same. We arrived just after 5 and couldn’t see ANY kids walking the streets. I put them in the car do some candy tourism. I figured there’s an elementary school near by therefore kids, therefore candy. Nope. As a last ditch effort I googled the nearest Trader Joe’s and hit up that neighbourhood. Jackpot! Seemed everyone had the same idea too. Vans were pulling over and letting kids and parents up. I felt much less guilty!

This street was amazing. Families, young couples, retirees all put in phenomenal efforts on their decorations.

We put a bucket of chocolates outside our place in case anyone came by. When we got home none of the treats were taken! I reckon I bought 300 chocolates. We dumped them in Miami. Our neighbours seemed to be partaking in the “Devil’s Lettuce” so we hooked a bag of candies to their door knob. It must have been good product because they were too paranoid to take it and it was still there the next morning!

The next day was an epic drive to Miami Beach.

Tallahassee, FL

We spent 3 nights in Tallahassee, again to break up the driving.

Tallahassee is the state capital of Florida. It’s not a big city by an stretch and we didn’t have much trouble getting around. Saying that, we didn’t do much and enjoyed a few days of low key tourism.

The highlight was the Tallahassee museum, which is more like a zoo. They had an elevated boardwalk through the enclosures of red wolves, deer, bears and panthers. My favourite animals were the tree climbing foxes.

Otherwise we really didn’t do much. It rained which forced our hands to finally buy umbrellas. They got minimal use.

We headed off to St Petersburg for Halloween.

Nashville, TN

Nashville is now my favourite city. We spent 4 nights directly opposite Vanderbilt University (where one or both of my children will study). It was a jam packed few days that I’ll summarise below. Keeping up with this blog is turning out to be a lot more difficult than I anticipated!

We couldn’t decided which museum to go to. I’m a bit of a country fan but no means a die hard. I know much more about classic rock so we decided that the Musicians Hall of Fame would be a good compromise. What actually sealed the deal was finding a good deal on Groupon! It was a great museum that transcended genres and eras. It also had a lot of material about producers and the production of famous albums. There exhibits dedicated to Cash and Hendrix complete with some amazing outfits. All in all, I rate it.

Next we walked up and down Broadway with all the Honky Tonks. Seems like every country artist owns one. There was Kid Rock’s, Alan Jackson’s and Florida Georgia Line’s to name a few. The street is filled with music pouring out of the bars, all live of course. Even at 11am it’s pumping. Not at all dirty or seedy though. Thankfully the kids had a bit of nap so we were able to enjoy a cheeky roof top beer. I’m looking forward to comparing Broadway to Vegas, I feel Nashville will win.

The next day we went to the Johnny Cash museum. Despite Hanika’s impression I am not the world’s biggest Cash fan. I am, however, a big fan. The museum was great and featured a walk through of his life from his upbringing on the farm to his last music video “Hurt” and everything in between. There was lots of memorabilia and quite a lot about his collaborations including as part of “The Highwaymen”. At the end of the museum there was a man who seemed to be in his late 60’s shaking hands with everyone. Turns out it was Johnny’s youngest brother. I made a quick exit without shaking hands.

That night we went to a show at The Grand Ole Opry and left the kids at home with a babysitter. The Opry is one of the most famous music venues in the world. It continues a live radio show, syndicated all over the world. The show had 4 music groups each playing 3-4 songs and a comedian called Henry Cho. Before I talk about the music you have to check out Henry. He was absolutely hilarious. I would have considered the night a success if he was the only act. The venue was packed and we secured last minute nose bleed seats. I didn’t know any of the groups except for Charlie Daniels, of “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” fame. All the music was great including a bluegrass band and a newer pop/country group from Scotland. We finished the night by having a drink at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel. It’s absolutely massive! When you walk in there’s a tropical atrium complete with water features. We had an over priced beer and dessert and pretended like we belonged before heading back to the kids for a dose of reality.

We asked our Uber driver where we HAD to each and she suggested Hatty B’s. It’s a famous (apparently) fried chicken joint, and the original location was just down the road! We walked down and it was PACKED. We arrived with two prams and two hungry children. We finally found a place to sit but by then the order line was out the door and down the street. We settled for getting Uber Eats and eating a home. I’m not a fried chicken connoisseur but it was ok. Perhaps it would have been better without the 20 minutes sitting in someone’s car? It certainly wouldn’t have been worth putting the kids through waiting in the tiny restaurant.

Overall a very busy few days in a great city. I’m hoping that one of brothers/friends will consider having their bucks party here. If not, I’ll just wait till I send the boys here for university!

Our next main stop is NOLA with small break in Jackson and Birmingham.

Pensacola, FL

We spent 3 nights in Pensacola on our way to Miami.

Pensacola is a military city on the west side of the panhandle. Naturally we went to the Naval Aviation Museum. As with all good museums, entry was free! They had a wide selection of aircraft on display including an F-14. I tried my hand at a flight simulator that pitched and rolled a full 360 degrees! It was actually a lot of fun despite not being able to engage in a dog fight. Hanika wasn’t game after watching me do multiple barrel rolls.

Otherwise the rest of the time was spent relaxing at the beach. It was Ollie’s first time on sand and he seems to love it. Moose was keen to run in despite the water not being “warm”. I was surprised with how white the beach was. I also hate sand.

Next we drove to Tallahassee.

New Orleans, LA

We’d been looking forward to visiting New Orleans for a while – we’d both heard about the culture, the food, the music and we were excited! We arrived around lunch time and had time to kill before checking into our next Airbnb, so we decided to go to Storyland in City Park. City Park in New Orleans is enormous – bigger than Central Park in NYC. It has a couple of golf courses, two stadiums, lakes, a forest, a community produce garden, an amusement park and Storyland. Unfortunately the amusement park was closed, but Storyland was great. It’s an outdoor area with giant sculptures of characters and scenes from children’s book that you can walk around, climb on and interact with – there was Alice in Wonderland, the Three Little Pigs, Snow White and lots more.

When it was time to check in we hopped back in the car and made our way to the Airbnb, only to arrive to find the front door open….Hmmm….Turns out the owner was inside with a plumber doing some repairs so we had no running water. Not a great start… So we dropped off our bags and went to a playground across the road. Still no running water when we got back to the house so we decided to have dinner out. We got back an hour or so later and thankfully had running water. Unfortunately we also had a leaking toilet….Fortunately it wasn’t a major leak and was still usable, but the plumber was due to come back the following day to fix said leak.

The next morning we went to Audobon Zoo. It was the first zoo of our trip since crossing the border into America and it did not disappoint. As we were there fairly early in the morning a lot of the animals were active and we could see them moving around their generally spacious enclosures. We got good views of the lions, giraffes, rhino, zebras and gorillas. My favourite were the flamingos who actually make a sound like a goose!

That afternoon we went on a swamp tour. I have to admit I was not initially keen on this as when I think of a swamp I think of dirty, stagnant, smelly water. But I was proven completely wrong and it was absolutely beautiful. It reminded me of the Yellow River Cruise in Kakadu, NT that we did a couple of years ago. We cruised through the bayou in Jean Lafitte National Park and saw alligators, egrets, deer, a racoon and little river shacks. The tour guide was very entertaining and had a wealth of knowledge about the local area, information about the wildlife, and even had a 3 year old alligator stashed away that he brought out at the end of the tour for us to hold. Moose was very excited! It was a wonderful tour that I would highly recommend. After the swamp tour we headed down town to have a look around and had a great time wandering through the narrow streets, seeing street performers in Jackson Square and hearing jazz music from every pub and bar that we passed. It had a very European feel (not surprising given its French and Spanish past) and was also quite touristy. I had been advised to try a beignet, which is a fried dough/pastry treat that is doused in powdered sugar and is a New Orleans specialty – it exceeded all expectations and was totally delicious! I vowed to have one every day until we left. We wandered around some more and then had dinner at Gumbo Shoppe – gumbo is another New Orleans specialty and is a type of stew, also delicious! After that we headed home….. to a still leaking toilet…

Day three and we decided that cruises were our thing so we went on the Creole Queen Paddleboat cruise along the Mississippi River. But not before scoring another beignet. This was a historical cruise with another very entertaining local providing commentary and an account of NOLA’s French, then Spanish, then French, then American history. The cruise took us to the Chalmette Battlefield where we disembarked and learnt about the Battle of New Orleans, before hopping back on the boat to head back downtown. The return journey was quite incredible as we heard a detailed account of Hurricane Katrina, its devastation upon the city and its people, the strategic and bureaucratic difficulties in securing aid and then the recovery and revitalisation of the city.

We had lunch at a restaurant with a live jazz band which the kids thought was great and had some catfish (you guessed it – a New Orleans specialty), then did some more wandering down town through the French Market, Frenchmen Street (which has some funky bars and jazz clubs) and Bourbon Street (which is more debaucherous and touristy). We headed back home for dinner and were greatly relieved to have a properly functioning toilet.

Our final full day in New Orleans was wet and stormy so we went to the Butterfly Garden and Insectarium. Although I’m not a huge fan of creepy crawly things it was actually very interesting to see and learn about a lot of different bugs and Moose really got into it. My favourite part was the butterfly garden where there are beautiful butterflies of all different colours and sizes flying around you as you walk through. One landed on Moose which he didn’t really like. One landed on Ollie and was lucky to escape with its life! At the end we went to the museum cafe and could try some edible insects – Moose didn’t bat an eyelid as he downed a deep fried cricket and then a choc chip cricket cookie. All he could say was “I’m still hungry!”

My fantastic idea for the afternoon was to go to a particular bar called Pat O’Brien’s that I had heard was famous for its dueling pianos. I had imagined it being really entertaining and thought we would all have a blast. Turns out dragging the entire family through the rain to the courtyard of a bar that is almost washed out and that doesn’t allow anyone under the age of 21 anyway just results in tired, wet children and no-one has fun. So as we sat undercover on the patio of the bar instead, and Ollie slept in his pram and Moose slept on my lap, Seb and I tried to salvage the afternoon by having a cocktail and sharing a huge piece of chocolate cake. It kind of worked until we then had to walk through the rain again to get back to the car to get home. All in all the afternoon was a write-off but I think they’ve all forgiven me now!

The following morning was still a bit wet and dreary, but luckily, we were off to Florida and its white sandy beaches – but not before stopping for a final beignet on the way out of New Orleans!

Overall Update

We’re still alive!

Logistically things are going well. The van is holding up although is absolutely filthy. We managed to set up the EZ Pass toll for the northeastern states. This was a huge money saver. Hertz will forward you the toll costs, plus charges you $6 USD for every day you use a toll! The pass costs $20 and the actual toll charges are less. We had a bit of trouble setting it up because the car had previously been registered to a different transponder. EZ Pass refused to release the plates and Hertz said there was nothing we could do. Turns out it doesn’t matter which car is registered to the tag as long as it’s still a “passenger vehicle”. Once we got to Florida we bought a different transponder without issue.

We’ve managed to lose a few things along the way. A whole grocery bag with Ollie’s coat, our Nanopresso coffee machine and other stuff went missing in Appalachia. Hanika has been suffering through pots of Folger’s in the morning. Last week we lost my travel adapter that’s come around the world countless times through Africa, Turkey, Europe. 4 weeks with the family is all it took to get rid of it.

We’ve also managed to gain a lot of things! The van doors barely close every time we set off. We’ve got 2 massive bags that are carrying clothes we haven’t used yet. We’ve been blessed with excellent weather the whole way so haven’t needed jackets etc. I’m hoping they’ll come in use when we get to California!

The kids are travelling better than expected. Both seem happy enough to be sleeping in a new place every couple of nights. Ollie’s settled into his portacrib thanks to ACB! We’ve got the right balance of hours on the road when we drive. Late checkins are difficult to deal with but somewhat inevitable. Pensacola had a 5pm check in!

Our latest conundrum is what to do between Vegas and San Fransisco. We need to get over the mountains and I’d love to see Sequoia/Yosemite. Unfortunately it’ll be mid December and road closures are unpredictable. Plus some roads require tire chains which invalidate your rental car insurance. No doubt we’ll take the risk of we need to!

Jackson, MS

We arrived in Jackson, Mississippi before check-in time for our Airbnb, so we took advantage of the sunny (and humid) weather and spent some time at LeFleur’s Bluff State Park. The kids had a run around on the playground and Seb got some great pictures of the wildlife, in particular some beautiful bird life. We also convinced ourselves we saw an alligator or two pop its head up above the water but of course didn’t manage to get photographic evidence. Our Airbnb was a lovely house very close to LeFleur’s, some cafes and, more importantly, a bbq restaurant right across the road called “Pig and Pint”.

The following day was mostly raining so we had a slow morning then went to the Mississippi Museum of Natural Science – Moose loved looking at the dinosaur skeletons and fossils and then got to meet and touch a tortoise and an alligator. That evening we took advantage of the Pig and Pint for dinner.

The next morning we packed up and left for New Orleans.